instead of making resolutions, i’m setting intentions. i’ve never really been into the whole resolutions thing. i like to think of starting the new year off with things i can aim for, not get rid of. so, i spent the last few weeks of 2017 doing some heavy reflecting by forcing myself to put down my phone and leave my emails alone {super scary but so worth it for a mere 7 days!}. being shut off from the world and just relaxing with my family, a few big things came up…
+ i worry way too much about pleasing others and what others think of me.
+ i put way too much pressure on myself to do MORE and always feel like i’m not doing ENOUGH.
+ i’m spread too thin.
in true blogger fashion, i’m posting my intentions right here and now and can’t wait to look back on them and how much i will grow in 2018. i encourage you all to take a minuto and jot down a few intentions for yourself.
Take care of Me. as much as I love working and staying busy, i’ve noticed that i spend ALL day focused on other people. this problem stems from numero uno above: worrying too much about pleasing others. a big part of my anxiety is me making sure everyone is happy and okay, always before myself, even when people screw me over. i have no idea where this comes from but it’s something i continually need to work on for my own mental health. loyalty is my best and worst asset! i have a terrible habit of not eating anything until dinnertime, and that’s from literally not thinking about myself or my needs until the work day is done. as hard as it is to admit, i can’t present my best self if i don’t take care of me first and foremost. lots more time dedicated to self love, and like….eating freaking breakfast this year.
Be vulnerable: okay, this is a big one! having a blog is so much fun to share things that i do, pictures that i take, and adventures that i experience. but to be 100% honest, i post like 10% of the content i actually want to. why? because of fear! i work on things all of the time and then totally delete them. i have thoughts like, “No one cares, Meagan”, or worry that i’m going to offend someone with my opinions. again, see numero uno above. fun fact: i absolutely love being a blogger but i have this terrible insecurity that people think i blog because i’m boastful, or something. and that fear seriously holds me back, like a lot. i also worry others will judge me for a slew of stupid reasons, but mainly i don’t ever want anyone to ask “who does she think she is?!” but then i had a realization: there are a lot of blogs that i don’t read because they don’t really serve me, but i don’t judge them, i just don’t read them. lightbulb moment! if people aren’t interested in me, then who cares? they wont be here anyways…and that’s okay! my point is that being more open on here is me being vulnerable and i want to do more of that; i want to share more of my personal thangs to connect more with readers, friends, and my community, all while keeping it light and fun. getting emails and messages from folks about blog posts is so heart warming because it resonated with them, even if they want to connect over a pair of boots. i’m gonna share more without feeling like i’m in everyone’s face about it. read if you will, read if you won’t.
this leads to posting more. i take SO many photos and never make the time to post them on my blog. work truly did get the best of me in 2017 and a lot of my travel posts were completely neglected, mainly because i didn’t post them in a timely fashion – which was silly pressure i put on myself.
Lean Into The Light: i’ve spent the last two years going to an energy healer once a week and it’s really changed my life. the biggest take away (and easiest thing to explain in just one blog post bullet point) is to lean into the Light. she’s taught me to recognize that everything has energy attached to it. so, when a new situation arises, i take a quick assestment of how it feels to me. does it feel heavy or does it feel light? if it feels heavy, let that shiz go. i’m also working really hard on recognizing if i make decisions based on my ego/fear and to work more on chosing decisions based on how it flows with my vibe. for instance, i was asked to work on on a project this summer that i simply did not have time for, but in the moment i agreed to it. i was thinking that another opportunity would never come along, and even though i was stretched so thin and stressed out to the max, i said yes. my fear was that i needed to do it, because it’s all an investment, right?! but thats simply not the case – more opportunities will always coming knocking and i need to learn to choose what’s right por moi. this was a great example of not leaning into the Light, as i knew immediately that agreeing to it wasn’t the best decision for me, and as it turns out, i was completely stressed and exhausted the entire time. i even look back on the experience with a little distaste because it was just too much. the project would have gone on smoothly without me and my energy would have been better suited for something else. still working on saying “no” and not feeling bad about it!
and lastly….
Let go of Fear: y’all, this ons is so tough! i’m so worried about how my energy affects others. i’m so worried that i’m not doing enough. i’m so worried i’m not doing things RIGHT. and i’m so worried about how all of that is going to affect the future. turns out it doesn’t freaking matter and all of that fear is actually holding me back. the future is what the future will be and i’m trying really hard to go with the flow of the universe. daily journaling, gratitude lists, meditation, and lots of yoga do wonders for me as well as my weekly energy meetings.
and finally, an apology to my mother as i wrote all of these intentions down on a piece of paper during the supermoon on jan. 1, and lit them on fire….except i’m an idiot and did it inside. the ashes took over the bathroom and the smell was so strong it woke my mom up! she freaked out with the thought of something burning and explaining the hippie shit i did under a moon was super awkward. best start to 2018!
outfit deets:
gigi pip hat
madewell top
madewell jeans
padgett hoke earrings
photo by Leslee Mitchell